Grief Changes Our Calendar

Grief changes our calendar!

Same months. Same days. Yet, changed!

Some days are different than other ones. Filled with events, memories, and emotions. It feels like certain days are packed in a box with masking tape barely holding them together! Too much. Too much loss. Too much pain. Too much grief. 

Birthdays! And our loved one is not there. We remember!

Anniversaries! And our loved one is not there. We remember! 

Holidays! Christmas. Thanksgiving. Not there either. 

Special events! Weddings! Reunions! Graduations!

Milestones! Turning 16, 21, or other big days! First grandchild! First steps!

Celebrations! Graduation! Promotions! First home! 

Medical days! Diagnosis. Accident. The day they died!

Our person will not be there. 

Grief seems to heighten our sensitivity to their absence. Now and forever!

Grief can make us more aware of the anniversaries of the loss or trauma, such as the date of death, the birthday, or the holiday of the person we lost.

These anniversaries can trigger a resurgence of sadness or anxiety, as we remember what happened and what we miss. Quite honestly, they should. Our person lived. We loved them. Their life mattered. Our memories hold all of these sacred moments. Waiting to be remembered and honored. 

There are some steps we can take to make these moments worthy of our loved one. 

We can honor these anniversaries, birthdays, and special events with rituals, ceremonies, or acts of remembrance. Or, maybe even practice random acts of kindness.

While others may prefer to avoid and take a quieter more private approach. Remember, each person has their own style for navigating grief!

We can look backward. We can look forward. We can look around. Days come and days go. Some of them are changed forever with the loss of our loved one.