Let's Talk about Grief!

If you will, take an imaginary trip with me. Let's go to the beach. 

Find a lonely place where no one else is around. 

Sit down in the sand. Take off your shoes and wiggle your toes. Dig a hole. Smooth it out. Feel the coolness of each grain. 

Watch the ocean. Waves coming in and going out. Rising and falling. Some with white caps on top. Shells roll with the current. Broken pieces. A few are whole. 

Hear it. Water crashing into water. There is a rhythm here. Could it be the rhythm of life? In some ways, it speaks a soothing sound to the depth of your soul. 

Smell it. Salty. Moist. 

Feel it. Calm. Peace. Uncertainty. Danger. All at the same time. Life is here. So is death. 

Loss comes crashing into our life. Like a big wave. Unwanted. Uninvited. Demolishes the story we thought we would live. Turns our world upside down. 

And there we sit. A spectator of our own journey. Thinking we control all things. In reality, we control very little. Watching the rising and falling. Expanding and contracting. 

When we make the choice to love, we have invited grief into our life. We didn't think about the other side of the coin, but it's there. 

Loss hurts. It breaks our heart. 

If we love deeply, we grieve deeply as well. 

Soul troubled. If we are honest that is. 

Mind rattled. Fear. Anxiety. Doubt. Confusion. Overwhelm.

Body slammed. Tired. Wired. Sleep more. Sleep less. Eat more. Eat less. 

Emotions shaken. Sad. Hurt. Mad. Angry.

Relationships stretched. No one knows what to say. No one knows what to do. 

So what does an imaginary trip to the beach have to do with grief. It is an image. A visual of what we may need to do. 

Move toward the grief. When you can. When you are ready. 

Come as a novice. One who is willing to learn. From your own experience. Pause. Ask questions. Feel the meaning that may be hidden in all of the noise, confusion, and doubt. 

Sit with it.

Watch it. Rise. Fall. Expand. Contract. 

Listen to it. Crashing in. Calming down. Flowing out. 

Grief is the energy we experience in response to our loss. If you sit with it, watch it, listen to it, and give it an outlet, then you can walk through it an intentional and healthy way. 

This is hard work. It is difficult to do alone. 

Walking together through grief is what a grief companion does. Compassionate presence. Trust. Openness. Support. Patience. Lots and lots of patience.