When You Lose Your Spouse, You Lose Your Mirror

Losing a spouse can be a life-changing event that can leave you feeling lost and alone. While it’s hard to compare the loss of a loved one to anything else, I can understand why you might feel like losing your spouse is like losing your mirror. This image speaks to the way loss can impact us on so many levels all at one time. 

Loss of identity: When you lose your spouse, you may feel like you’ve lost a part of yourself. And in many ways you have. After you have been in a relationship for a while, shared many life experiences, and talked through ideas or differences, you your form a bond that reflects who you are. 

Loss of reflection: Your spouse was someone who knew you better than anyone else. They were your sounding board, your confidant, and your support system. Do I wear the blue shirt or the green one? Where do you want to go out to eat? Let's talk about our next vacation. Losing them can feel like losing the person who reflected back to you who you were.

Loss of relationship: Losing your spouse is losing one of the most important relationships in your life. Your friend. Your partner. Your confidant. Your travel companion. Your everything. And then one day, they are gone. 

Loss of future plans: Losing your spouse can also mean losing the future that you had planned together. You may have had dreams and goals that are impossible without them. Like travel, retirement, and fun getaways. 

Loss of intimacy: Losing your spouse means losing the physical and emotional intimacy that you shared with them. It can be hard to imagine being close to someone else in the same way.

When we lose someone we love, we grieve. That grief includes the person and the many ways they kept us grounded. 

They were our mirror and so much more!